Joe Morguess

Attracted to the person across the room, or at the table next to you at the restaurant? Perhaps it was something she or he said, to you, or you may have overheard a dynamic comment they made to their friend, in conjunction with their charismatic allure. Or, perhaps you are focused at first solely on their amazing looks and style, their eyes, the smile, a face that can launch a thousand ships, their stature, the walk, the come hither look that draws you in and makes you want to know more. Whether it's that inside out beauty of an intelligent witty flirtatious gal or guy, or the outer physical attractiveness and style of a stranger that seems modeled just for you, that initial impression/attraction signals to you that this can be the start of something big. You will know it when you feel it because your curiosity will peak, your eyes and heart will pop and pound, and you will be highly motivated, to say the least. Relationships mature, and a partner's best qualities grow on you with time, yes, but when that attraction is there from the start—and it's reciprocal, prepare yourself for heaven.

Joe Morguess, PhD is a free lance writer and a retired school psychologist, and can be reached at: JMor25@aol.com,

or 954-724-1815

Read Joe's Previous Articles Below

Alone Doesn't Have to Mean Lonely
by Joe Morguess, Ph.d.

Let's get one thing straight. It's no crime to be single. Don't you just get tired of so many out there, including some of your single friends, the dating services, etc, urging you and themselves to terminate this so called terminal disease of being unattached? The bottom line is self esteem--it's the only road to happiness and it comes from attitude and from within, whether single, married, widowed, divorced 6 times, never married, 4 kids and 3 grandkids, no kids, rich, poor , living alone, or together with someone, etc, whatever, whatever!

Viewing your single status as a deficiency, an embarrasment, an illness worse than the worst illness, an existence needing to be outlawed-- is ridiculous, dear worthwhile readers. Alone doesn't have to mean lonely. And are you really alone in this world? No way, in most cases. A single gentleman or a single woman has the same opportunities as marrieds to make an impact on the world, to make it a better place, to make friends and influence people, to make love, to derive joy from loved ones..family and friends and lovers and kids.

It's true that if you are single without a mate that you sleep alone at night more often than marrieds , and that when 911 needs to be called you may have to make that call yourself, or get a friend or family to come over in the middle of the night or meet you at the hospital. But that desperate occurrence may happen only once or twice if you think about it. When the time comes, we are all alone, regardless of marital status. And we all understand that having a mate, a soul mate, a romantic partner that you want to cuddle with, and wants you too, is the best feeling imaginable. So why not get off on that longing feeling , thrill to the search for it without feeling sorry for yourself, enjoy the freedom, the adventure of being single, together with your single friends, and bring a depressed trapped married friend along with you once in a while.

Seems to me, married status doesn't guarantee happiness. Think of how many are stuck or trapped in their relationships, and don't you think many would give the world to be able to get out and be single and free to explore like you, and move on in life? Isn't it better to be alone, than with the wrong person? Besides, the best dance places and parties are the single locales and hangouts, and marrieds have the dinner and movies and that's it. Kidding of course, but you do get my drift, yes? And don't forget that as a single you have the freedom to have many loves, legitimately, and serially, or even simultaneously if you can pull it off, until you get it right , or perhaps you simply love being single.

Here's the thing: If you come across as lonely and desperate, you reduce your chances of hooking up with a healthy human being . You can be a Baywatch babe or a hunk of a guy, but who worth their salt except an angel would want to hang out with you and spend hours trying to snap you out of it?

So here's what you do: Snap out of it, get over it, groove on the longing for love, get dressed ,and go to one of the parties advertized on these pages, and knock them out with your positive attitude, and report back to us! .

Joe Morguess, Ph.d is a free lance writer and a retired school psychologist, and can be reached at JMor25@aol.com, or 954-724-1815

Mirror, Mirror

by Joe Morguess, Ph.d.

Mirror mirror, who is the fairest of them all? No, we are not talking Snow White or the envious Queen here. We're speaking of condominium ladies in their fifties, sixties, seventies, or even their eighties.

You have not seen a certain neighbor or acquaintance in weeks. You know she is in town. Her best friend says she has the flu. But we know better. She's in cosmetic recovery. She has been hibernating for 5 weeks or more, waiting to make her debut. She's scared as heck, but her plastic surgeon was recommended by the best looking mid-lifers and seniors on the block. And when she finally re-appears, it all will have been worth it-she hopes. She is not aiming to be the fairest, simply to be a little tickled pink when she stares at her own
reflection in that mirror on the wall.

Our hypothetical neighbor chose to be made over--not necessarily to an extreme--just a little removal of excess here, a little tightening there, a little added you know where. It's nip and tuck, because with all the talk that it's
what's inside that counts, women all over Earth will always believe that outer beauty-or something resembling it- rules. It is true that cosmetic modification helps at a certain age, but guess what? Men respond as much to a lady's inner glow and to her intelligence. They know better than women that it is the
pizzazz within her that makes her more alluring.

However, truthfully, most men are wowed by women who have improved their looks in this way. An intelligent, empowered woman catches our attention, yes. But an empowered woman with great eyes, a defined waist and great legs? Now that's what I call a killer combination. You heard it here first. Ladies, God bless you, we love your inner glow, but we think we love your plastic surgery too. More power to you if a renewed outside now-finally- matches the good you have felt inside. Or, more power to you if the new reflection in the mirror will
now improve the less confident you, if that's what you've been feeling. We admire that you are stress free because you sense your soul and your mirror image are once again in synch. We admire your higher self-esteem and self confidence. That's when you exude sensuality, when you become more desirous, and when
you attract the attention you've wanted.

Facial makeover? Great! Some of my buddies will approach your group, enticed, unaware that you or your gal pal are 82 years old. They won't even care.

Implants in all the right places? No complaints. Fine and dandy. But you knew that, you sly slick beauties you. Whether you are twenty-five or an over fifty-five woman, it will be appreciated.

Tummy tuck? The flatter the better. A six pack? We love it to death. Pay an additional three grand, and add a Jennifer Lopez look to your makeover? We will not complain. We get it. We understand. Your own hourglass shape matters to you, and we don't blame you. You cannot be twenty or thirty again, but if you look neat in a midriff at 72, we agree that you might turn heads, especially within the condo, so enjoy. We just want you to be happy. You may get evil eyes from the envious women. Yet, we know you like that the best.

The good news for the rest of you is that au natural is just as good if the lady in the mirror is your ideal at any age. As long as you exude an inner glow, have a beautiful brain, display a genuine smile, and greet others with a warm hello, stay as sweet as you are- without the trimmings, and without the add ons.

Joe Morguess Ph.D, a free lance writer and a retired school
psychologist living in Tamarac, can be reached at JMor25@aol.com, or 954-724-1815.

The Love of His Life

by Joe Morguess

My pal just told me he found the love of his life. It should only happen to everyone. Problem is, my pal is worried it may not be a two-way love- and that as Autumn unfolds- it may develop into a summer romance that never was. However, unrequited love is an old story. To be sure, all of us have been in love like this, on a one way street, countless times, and some of us romantics think it counts for little when the babe isn't losing sleep over us in the same way, nor shouting an undying devotion for us from the rooftops. Meanwhile, we guys think we have found our dream girl, that our search is over, and we're no longer afraid of the "C" word, never were. We were just waiting for the goddess to show up and notice us. But surprise, surprise, suspiciously, we are just not feeling that she has met the man of her dreams. We are not the "one", it seems . Drat! It's déjà vu all over again.

Undoubtedly, as the lyrics of the tune tell us, the greatest thing is to love and be loved in return. When that's the case, when our love is a requited love, all's well with the world, love songs suddenly have meaning and come to life, and all the lyrics to every love song ever written seem to be about us, about you and your beloved. We're lucky if that happens to us once in a lifetime, and after a loss or an ending, twice is amazing, and three times simply a miracle. But don't despair, short of that can be neat too, and it gets you half way there. So here is what I am going to tell my pal:

If you are the one in love and she isn't , or if you're in deep love and she's in shallow like, I'd rather be in your shoes. Why? Because you are the one feeling more deeply, you're the one who's more alive and being enriched by the love within you, and you're the one grooving on the music hoping the words come true for you. Whoever that romantic was who said :" 'tis better to be have loved and lost than not to have loved at all", knew what he or she was saying. So hang in there pal, continue to love her and demand nothing in return, with no strings attached , and who knows , she may one day see the light, and the man of her dreams standing before her-- you pal. If nothing else, you were the one ahead of the game by being in touch with love, requited or not. Sooner or later, the real dream girl will show up and take notice.

Joe Morguess, Ph.d, is a free lance writer and a retired school psychologist living in Tamarac, Fl. He can be reached at JMor25@aol.com, or 954-724-1815.

Jealousy and Hopelessness can Kill

by Joe Morguess

Here's a love advisory , as we begin the new year. Love is a choice you make, and you can maintain it, or find it again and again with another, -- or it can find you-- as long as you're open to that emotion, and as long as you respect the individuality of others. And life is so much more as well.

Did you catch that story last Fall, where a shooting occured at a local Community College? A disgruntled and dejected boyfriend, upset at the breakup with his coed girlfriend, decided that if he couldn't have her any longer, then no one would. He shot her to death, then took his own life. It was a familiar scenario, depicted hundreds of times in so many novels and movies.

Without knowing any thing else about the circumstances of the life of the shooter or his girlfriend, we can make some reasonable inferences. The shooter decided to put all his eggs into one basket, and was too needy. That is, at the time of the shooting and in the moments before, he not only decided that this was the one and only love he could ever have in his lifetime, he apparently also thought that he had nothing else going on in his life. This, despite the fact that he was preparing for some academic or work future by having enrolled in college in the first place.

In those crucial moments, he was overcome by loss, rejection and depression to such an extent that he saw no other way out. He was likely either too young to have learned a key, important life lesson-- or had insufficent positive minded role models to teach it to him. That lesson is: beware of limiting your options and future possibilities, and especially always know that it's not what happens to you that determines your future, it's how you respond to those events that really counts. That explains how Lisa Beemer, wife of Sept. 11th Flight 63 hero the late Todd Beemer, seemed to be able to go on with her life and appear composed on TV so many times, even as she mourned her lost husband and lover. And that is true of all other lovers as well, who ever suffered a loss, or were jilted, yet were able to perceive a positive, fulfilling future ahead of them, whether or not it will ever again consist of another once and future love.

Here's the other point that the above shooting incident brings to mind: Some may disagree, but I believe that in our society-- jealousy, and possessiveness of another person(by either gender or even mutually), can be poisonous to your health. Taking that to the extreme, the community college shooter selfishly and disrespectfully determined that his girlfriend had no right to her own choices. There are other similar possessive relationships that do not end in murder/suicide, but nevertheless become the bases for unhappy, sometimes emotionally abusive partnerships.

In summary, if there is too much possessiveness/control, and emptiness, then a red warning flag is waving for your relationship or your friend's.

Joe Morguess Ph.d, a retired school psychologist living in Tamarac, can be reached at JMor25@aol.com, or

954-724-1815.